Working through Grief

The following text is an extract from the booklet featured below.

Did you know?

Years ago there was a focus on the stages of grief. That is no longer considered the best approach.

Grief is now person-centred because each person has influences, beliefs and styles according to their own circumstances and cultural background.

Stages of grief are no longer a 'given'.
We are encouraged to continue bonds with loved ones, but in a new way that is supportive, balanced and comfortable in the present.Again this is individual.

There are four identified categories of loss*:

Relationship loss (loved ones - loved pets)
Loss of some aspect of self - no longer being able to dance, play music, teach, create or be able to speak up for themselves and so on.
Developmental Changes - losses in life, moving, new stage of life, change of life etc.
Loss of treasured objects or mementos - this often happens in separation, divorce, 'acts of God', weather, war, disaster, moving away and so on.

* Humphrey and Zimpfer (2008)

Other responses

There are also physical, psychological, behavioural, social and spiritual reactions to grief.

There is often anger.

Grief lies under anger. This is where talking to a compassionate person or counsellor can be helpful.

Faith is questioned, lost, or disowned. Or, even found.

Each person may have some, or all of these responses.

There is no definitive way. And there is no definitive time period when it happens.

What is best for the person is what they should feel to do with what comes up in the moment.

Medical/health
There may also be times where medical support may be necessary for a short time, and there should be no shame attached to this.

Again, it is what is best for the individual.

Questions from children ...

Children have many questions.
They will ask what you feel about the after life or heaven so that they can see how they feel themselves. Children often bring up angels.
It is important to take them seriously and kindly listen without judgement or correction, with gentle prompts, eg 'how do you feel about that?'

Grief is Real booklet

There is no shame in grief.
There are no 'shoulds' in a time frame for grief.

I have created a little booklet that can be helpful to guide someone gently to begin to work through grief.

You can purchase it here on My Art and Soul site.

It can also be helpful to seek professional support.

GRIEF booklet cover in light purples with photo of white angel in garden